Every day we face decisions: what to wear, what to eat (even how to eat), wake-up time, bedtime, who to spend our time with, which emails to reply to (and whose to ignore). We make the 'right' decision. We make the 'wrong' decision. We make the same decision over and over again and beat ourselves up about the outcome. Sometimes we focus so much on the outcome of a decision. We hype ourselves up endlessly for the confrontation associated with the decisions, yet the outcome is almost never as we imagined. When it's all said and done, our life amounts to a series of decisions we made. So what about the decisions that are made for us?
Just a couple of weeks ago, the Silicon Valley bank collapsed, and the whole tech/finance world went bat-shit crazy. I watch so many documentaries about companies like Mt. Gox, QuadrigaCX, or even the popular Gamestop Saga, where people make the decision to trust their assets with others, and it all comes tumbling down the hill like Jack and Jill (poor reference, but I recently watched Puss and Boots with my son - highly recommended, btw!). Do we blame the decision-makers, the economy, or the entire banking system ( also recommend 'The Monster of Wall Street' on Netflix - financial crashes are NUTS)? At the end of the day, everyone looks for answers in the disaster by questioning the decisions that were made. This is because, we learn as much from bad decisions as we do from good ones.
Decisions are scary because they open the floodgates to regret, and who wants to live with regret? Regrets don't leave us alone; they haunt our days and nights, becoming that scab we keep itching until the wound reopens.In fact, some of us become so afraid of regret that we stop making decisions altogether - like no harm, no foul. It’s easier to just let things happen, than dealing with regret or it’s little Loki-like brother, Hindsight. Hindsight is relentless in telling us that we did it all wrong, and we will be doomed without a Delorean to take us back and repent.
When the weight of a decision feels unbearable, I try to remember what I say to my son; the worst thing she can say is No, I tell him, and his frown twitches slightly. Although No might not be what a five year old wants to hear, a No is not the end of the world. He can live with to fight the battle with his mom for Percy Pig biscuits when her guard is lowered.
Freedom feels like learning to live with the decisions you make. Make decisions based on the ones you know you can live with, not just today, but tomorrow also. Don’t fall victim to hindsight that gives no regard to the circumstances in which the decisions were made and punishes you for daring to try. There will always be more frustrations associated with the decisions you didn’t make than the ones you did.
Sometimes decisions leave scrapes and bruises, but if they don't kill us - you know the rest. In the words of Jocko, 'any failure apart from death is psychological'. Don't look at decisions in terms of right and wrong; some things are for us, and some things were never meant to be. Make decisions based on what you can live with, regardless of the outcome.
Decisions are not about being right or wrong; they are about growth. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we always learn.